Tuesday, December 17, 2013

How Frustrating Goal Setting Can Be and Tips to Stay on Track

Goal setting can be really frustrating can’t it? You weren't able to make the deadline you set for yourself. You only completed half of what you needed to do. You put something or someone else over your goal and used that as an excuse to not get it done. We've all done it. There are plans to get certain things done, then something interrupts those plans: family, forgotten obligations, friends, feelings of being tired, or unmotivated. The next thing you know, it’s been a week and absolutely nothing towards your goals were accomplished. This can bring on feelings of disappointment, self-doubt, and unworthiness. When you’re in that state of mind it’s difficult to jump start with the enthusiasm and positivity you need to take action. Just because you hung out with a friend you really wanted to see instead of doing a task on your to-do list doesn't make you a failure. Just because you decided to cuddle up with your significant other for a movie instead of doing house work doesn't make you a failure. Just because you decided to stay on the phone with your sister or brother for hours and catch up instead of making important phone calls doesn't make you a failure. Your life should be varied and complete filled with unanticipated moments of joy, excitement and even sorrow. Our desires for our goals will remain. You will always have times where you want to do things that have absolutely nothing to do with your goals and that’s okay! There’s no such thing as a positive straight line to reaching your goal. There are valleys, detours, and dead ends. Basically, there will be setbacks. It’s you who must determine if these setbacks will deter you from what you truly want. As long as you have breath then you still have time to do all things you want to do. Now in no way am I saying yes it’s okay to put off your goals until you get around to them. If you are consistently and deliberately making choices that don’t serve your goal it’s important that you admit that to yourself and think about why you are choosing to avoid it. But if you’re more motivated on some days to work on your goal and on others more motivated to spend time with your friends, family or even you, then being completely comfortable with that choice is essential to staying motivated. Do not feel as if you gave up one thing for another. You chose exactly what you felt would serve you the most and embrace that decision. The feeling of positively embracing the choices you make is the first step. Here are a few tips to keep you moving towards your goal while incorporating your other desires:

1.               Schedule a specific day during the week to work on your goal.

a.               Start out with a day or two and as you take more action, more momentum will allow you to add on more days

2.               Take 15 minutes at the end of the day to revisit the things you did that added or took away from your day

a.               Being aware of what your filling your time with allows you to make adjustments for what you truly need and want

3.               Write your goals out and put them somewhere you will see every day without trying.

a.               Having a daily reminder of your desires strengthens your subconscious to fulfill them

4.               Use an accountability team to help you stay on track.

a.               Find one or more friends to hold you accountable for what you say you will do on a daily or weekly basis.

5.               Ask yourself, “Where do I want to be in a month?”

a.               What would you like to say about last month in regards to your goal?
It’s important to have balance. It’s important to understand that at different moments you’ll be pulled to fulfill different desires. Don't resist it. Not overextending yourself in either direction is key. Don’t aim to your goal; aim to the feelings you desire (accomplishment, peace, clarity, focus, love). If you want to feel less tired, go to bed earlier. If you want to feel more love in your life, spend time with the people that love you. If you want to feel more focused, dedicate more time to yourself reflecting on what matters to you most. It is your life to live and the journey is yours. Invest in your happiness and your goals are bound to be met.
Live freely J

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