Follow Your Instinct

When you start to listen to what’s true for you making decisions become easier. I have the tendency to ponder over thoughts, ideas, and possibilities way longer than I need to. It seems as if thinking through a decision multiple times will alleviate all the possible wrong ones and leave you with the shiny gold coin- the perfect choice. Should I go out with my friends Friday or should I just stay home? Should I take this job or finally start my business? Do I give him another chance or make way for someone exciting and new? We make decisions constantly, every day, nearly every minute. The average person makes around 600 decisions per day. Some are involuntary- your brain quickly decides then you follow through and others are voluntary. These are the ones that we can think about for hours, days even. Overall, we are trying to determine the amount of value and risk in each decision. So how do we decide on the “correct answer”? Sometimes we get weary of all the back and forth and eventually just choose. Other times we involve friends or family members to give us some insight. As I sit down and think of all the times I have made good, healthy decisions in my life, I followed my instinct. Don’t you remember back in high school when the teacher would go over the correct answers from the pop quiz and how frustrated you would be when you second guessed yourself and chose the wrong answer. What would you say? “I knew it!” What does that statement mean? Something within you told you the right answer, but you could not remember how you knew the answer or why you were choosing the answer. But after thinking and trying to use your photographic memory from 2 wks ago you chose something else. But yet, you already knew the answer all along. There is a reason we were born with instincts. It is our compass, our guide to fulfilling our purpose in the truest form. It is our navigational system but people find it difficult to follow. Since there’s no hardcore evidence to support it, we question it, doubt it and instead follow what has been done before and what we see around us. As I listen to myself more, I find it is much easier to make decisions. I’m not stressing over pleasing others, deadlines, or perceived perceptions. I am listening within. But in order to do this you must take time to get to know yourself. How can you listen and follow someone you don’t quite know or understand? You have all the answers, just trust what's within.

There's Beauty in Acceptance

There will always be parts of me that’s clumsy, wild, intense and sarcastic at its finest. For a while, I thought these things that are not perfectly polished, positive and logical should be fixed in some way. Find a way to be less like that, and a  little more like this in order to be the best me I can be. I can hear my father’s voice, “Improve each day. Be better than you were the day before. Always strive for self-improvement,” as he slightly stutters through each statement. I took this to mean each and everything that’s a little messy should be examined and eliminated. The thing about loving self-improvement as if it’s a hobby, is you can have the tendency to hide the parts that make you unique if you’re not careful. There are things about me that I’m ashamed to think about or say out loud because it may be “too much,” or offensive  or a little too raunchy :)  I used to be in a relationship when during sex I was scared to tell him what I really liked or worse, what I really didn’t like. I used to have a best friend that I wanted so badly not be friends with anymore because we no longer had things in common. I felt absolutely horrible in wanting this. At times, I can get so nervous about dropping things or making mistakes that it almost never fails that I make even more mistakes. The parts about me that fit outside the box are really that pieces that hold me together. They are really the things that make life more enjoyable for me. But it’s hard to enjoy things you are embarrassed of in front of others. It’s difficult to admit you think someone is attractive when all your girls say otherwise. Sidenote: I love awkward looking men. There’s something particularly special about people with exaggerated features. Get’s me going lol. I digress. It’s hard to post a picture of yourself after the first try. You need 20 more takes and maybe the ok of your bestie to click upload. When the truth is they ALL looked the exact same. It’s the parts of us that are hard to stomach that we must get comfortable with. The fear is we think this sets us so apart from others. No one else does this, thinks this, says these things when the truth is that’s a lie. We are more alike than we realize but completely different in our own way, which is the beauty of acceptance. Accepting yourself for all of who you are. Accepting the things you’ve done that you may not do today because now you no better. Accepting the truth about what you want out of a mate, even if it’s your first time admitting it out loud.  Accepting that you have some habits that are a bit strange to say the least, but it helps you function better. Most of all, accepting that you’re changing and growing day by day, and it’s up to you to define who you are. But in order to do that you must ACCEPT who you are, and that means all of you.

It's Absurd to Think the Single Woman is Happy

Is it really that absurd for a woman to enjoy being single? Does something have to be wrong with her? Why is it assumed that she’s not single by choice? In today’s time, and I guess since forever, a female’s worth and status is determined by the man she is with or not with. She could have her masters, a fulfilling career, her own home AND a car, but if she doesn’t have a man by her side, she must be unhappy. Now let me say this now: EVERYONE ON THIS PLANET WANTS TO BE AUTHENTICALLY LOVED AND ADORED BY ANOTHER HUMAN BEING. Although this is a universal truth that everyone is aware of, society has portrayed this to be more of a truth for women than men. If a man is single in his twenties, majority of people will think he’s enjoying his freedom and focusing on himself, his career, or simply “sowing his royal oats” . A female on the other hand has to be too picky, crazy, or something is definitely wrong with her. Why can’t females be in the same situation? Why can’t women choose not to be unhappy and just be…free. The 21^st century woman is of a different species. We have more freedom, access to opportunities and education than our ancestors ever seen in their lifetime. We’re making more money and have the ability to govern our lives without depending on our counterparts. This puts the 20something year old female at an advantage in many areas except in love… at times. There’s a select group of men that are prepared for this progressive species. The rest fear or are confused by this “female”. She is challenging, insightful, sexy, aggressive, and daring. She fears so little including knowing her desires. One of two things can happen to this woman in the arena of love. Option No.1- She can be admired by many, but not attained by one. For her complexity is stifling, and let’s face it, there are easier options where the batteries are included. Option No.2- She can meet that man who sees the worth in having this unique woman. He knows himself and is excited about a woman who goes against the grain and authentically lives for her happiness at her own standards. Either way, what this woman cannot do is pretend. Pretend to be interested in someone that doesn’t match her value. Pretend to like guys just because they like her. Pretend she doesn’t yearn for a love that is transparent and beautiful in a time where people show so much of themselves but none of who they really are. She can’t pretend she doesn’t want to be happy. She has found great happiness within and until someone comes along and enhances that, you simply can’t take her away from herself.