There's Beauty in Acceptance

There will always be parts of me that’s clumsy, wild, intense and sarcastic at its finest. For a while, I thought these things that are not perfectly polished, positive and logical should be fixed in some way. Find a way to be less like that, and a  little more like this in order to be the best me I can be. I can hear my father’s voice, “Improve each day. Be better than you were the day before. Always strive for self-improvement,” as he slightly stutters through each statement. I took this to mean each and everything that’s a little messy should be examined and eliminated. The thing about loving self-improvement as if it’s a hobby, is you can have the tendency to hide the parts that make you unique if you’re not careful. There are things about me that I’m ashamed to think about or say out loud because it may be “too much,” or offensive  or a little too raunchy :)  I used to be in a relationship when during sex I was scared to tell him what I really liked or worse, what I really didn’t like. I used to have a best friend that I wanted so badly not be friends with anymore because we no longer had things in common. I felt absolutely horrible in wanting this. At times, I can get so nervous about dropping things or making mistakes that it almost never fails that I make even more mistakes. The parts about me that fit outside the box are really that pieces that hold me together. They are really the things that make life more enjoyable for me. But it’s hard to enjoy things you are embarrassed of in front of others. It’s difficult to admit you think someone is attractive when all your girls say otherwise. Sidenote: I love awkward looking men. There’s something particularly special about people with exaggerated features. Get’s me going lol. I digress. It’s hard to post a picture of yourself after the first try. You need 20 more takes and maybe the ok of your bestie to click upload. When the truth is they ALL looked the exact same. It’s the parts of us that are hard to stomach that we must get comfortable with. The fear is we think this sets us so apart from others. No one else does this, thinks this, says these things when the truth is that’s a lie. We are more alike than we realize but completely different in our own way, which is the beauty of acceptance. Accepting yourself for all of who you are. Accepting the things you’ve done that you may not do today because now you no better. Accepting the truth about what you want out of a mate, even if it’s your first time admitting it out loud.  Accepting that you have some habits that are a bit strange to say the least, but it helps you function better. Most of all, accepting that you’re changing and growing day by day, and it’s up to you to define who you are. But in order to do that you must ACCEPT who you are, and that means all of you.